In a controversial 5-4 decision the USSC passed a bill establishing that dollar bills are people and therefore should be given citizenship and the right to vote.
Justice Scalia wrote in his conclusion that;
“This legislation will set an important precedent on the status and voting rights of American money.”
Mitt Romney “This is an important day in American history!”
Mitt Romney praised the decision stating;
“This is an important day in American history! I can only hope that this decision will help the other denominations get the recognition they deserve. I’ve spoken with quite a few 1,000 dollar bills who would love the right to vote!”
In a show of solidarity for the new voting rights of American currency Mitt Romney set out to successfully raise one hundred million dollars in one month.
Shortly after achieving the 100 million dollar goal an exuberant Mitt dismissed concerns expressed over the sudden influx of money citizens into a weak housing market by stating that;
“I’ve already spoken to a number of my friends at BP and OPEC and they’ve guaranteed that between us we can find homes for every money-person in America. “
Romney staff confirmed that Mitt had already taken steps on the matter by renting a larger vault space at Bank of America.